Dealing with disappointment


Sometimes things in life just don't go as we hoped and planned. I experienced that feeling recently during the end of my pregnancy. I felt let down by my body and disappointed that the birth I had imagined and hoped for didn't happen (everyone did warn me that it wouldn't go how I had planned but I was still disappointed). 

In the grand scheme of things my disappointment has not been too hard to handle. I have got a beautiful and healthy son and that has sort of erased any of the other negative feelings – but at the time before he was born and during the birth it felt very hard and very real. I have been pretty blessed in life and yes I have definitely had to deal with disappointment and heartache in the past but nothing that I haven't managed to get over and move on from. 

Anyway, this experience leading up to the birth got me thinking about disappointment and how we deal with it and move on from it so that it doesn't consume us. I thought I would share some of my thoughts here. 

Expect disappointment
I don't mean to be all doom and gloom and expect the worst but I think it does help to expect disappointment and remember that life isn't always going to be perfect or go the way we planned. I think if you are expecting that sometimes things won't go the way you want, then you won't be so shocked or knocked when that does happen. 

Be thankful
Something that really helps me when I am in the midst of disappointment is to look at other areas of my life and make lists of all the things I am thankful for. There is usually so so much and it often puts the hard things into perspective. It is so encouraging when you can see the good things and be grateful for them. I think making lists of things you are thankful for regularly is a good habit to get into whatever you have got going on in life. (I really love these posts Laura does - they always remind me to be thankful for the small things in life that I take for granted).

Focus on others
When I am in a funk and feeling decidedly sorry for myself I find it really helps me to focus on other people. You can always find someone who is suffering through something worse than you - which doesn't mean your suffering is not real and valid - but sometimes it helps to put things in perspective. If you focus on encouraging and supporting others it often makes you (and them) feel better and stops you from getting lost in your struggles and what you are going through.  

Move on
Sometimes healing just takes time and I think making a decision to move on and focus on the present and the future rather than past disappointments can really do the world of good.  Focus on the things that you can control and put aside the things that you can't control. 

Although your disappointments may be a lot worse and totally different from mine, I hope that these thoughts will help you start processing them and moving on from them. Sometimes just acknowledging and telling someone how you feel is the first step to healing and working through things. I am a big believer in the healing powers of verbal processing and sharing your burdens with others. How amazing to live in a time and place with such an amazing an supportive online community as well. I have seen so much kindness and support among people I know online recently that it has really made me realise what a special place the internet can be. 

Anyway I hope you all have a good day and an inspiring week! 

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